I’m finally wearing a bikini!
It’s only taken my 35 years, and 30 weeks of being pregnant, to stop giving a s–t.
This last week my hubby and I began our babymoon in Broome, our final little hurrah before our bundle of joy arrives.
My poor husband. In one day, I have him take at least 5000 photos of me in the bikini with my bump out because in my whole existence on earth I have only ever worn a bikini twice!
And, on those couple of occasions, I was still giving a s–t and caring what people think.
The very first time I wore a bikini was for Instagram a few years ago. I’d lost heaps of weight and just pretended my body image issues had gone with the weight loss so I could get a pic and write an inspirational message next to it.
Looking back, it was all so fake and just for validation. I still had so much hate towards my body and myself.
The second time was in Cuba. Once again, I’d lost a heap of weight so thought “stuff it, I’ll wear a bikini”.
But after just one swim, I felt self conscious and uncomfortable, so went back to wearing a full-piece swimsuit.
One of my mates suggested I buy a bikini the other day when I told her I was looking for swimmers for our babymoon.
At first I turned my nose up – I’ve spent my entire life hiding my belly.
But, while I was trying on swimmers in Target the other day, I decided f–k it”, YOLO, this might be the only time I ever rock a two-piece and let it all hang out.
So, I bought the $30 bikini and I have rocked every part of me while wearing it.
The last few days on holiday, I am so proud of how far I’ve come. The sense of freedom I have experienced being comfortable with my body has been super liberating.
Here are a few of my holiday milestones:
- I walked 7km along the beach in my bikini, letting it all hang out and didn’t even question myself once.
- I took 5000-plus baby bump pics, posing like a model.
- I sat by the pool with my belly out in all its glory, alongside a bunch of people I didn’t know.
- I walked around the whole hotel property with just my bikini on.
Not caring about what I look like, not caring what people think and not stopping to think about being “pale” or concerned about my “cellulite, back flab or tummy rolls” is an attitude I truly hope to pass on to my son or daughter.
I’m so happy I started thinking this way now whilst they are still in the womb.
I’m not bullshitting myself, or you and I wouldn’t declare I’m loving my self sick, but I’m embracing the changes of my body and I am growing to LOVE this new woman I’m becoming more and more everyday.